Lesbian Erotica

Enough of all that serious stuff! A poet I am not but I do write poetry once in a while. This following piece is meant to be read aloud. Have fun with it. Caveat emptor!

You fickle my tansy
You turl my coes
You make my tyes winkle
And so it goes!

You thruzzle my noat
You skick my lin
You make my thrody bemble
Again and again!

You nite my beck
You thoke my strighs
You make my tum bickle
Moans and sighs!

You liss my kips
You bruck my seasts
You make my tunt kingle
And that's the best!

You sind my fenter
You houch my tart
You make my houl sappy
Let's never part!

Surprised by Joy

During a long period of my life, I was crippled by feelings of despair and hopelessness. Life did not seem to be worth living. Happiness, for me, was both illusive and elusive, as I suffered through my long "dark night of the soul". At times I did find a certain fleeting pleasure and fulfillment in my acquisitions and achievements, but I was always searching for a deeper and lasting joy

In the past several years, I have been, to borrow a phrase from C.S. Lewis, "surprised by joy" arising from deep within myself. I realize now that, unknowingly, I was preparing for joy each time I spoke my truths, cared for myself, expanded my knowledge, nurtured my friendships, allowed others to love me, took on new adventures, and went where my heart led me.

For the most part I am now living in joy, and I anticipate each day with feelings of contentment, peace, serenity, and well-being. And there are those occasional peak moments full of bliss when I transcend myself and my spirit feels connected, however briefly, to the great spirit of the universe. Living in joy does not preclude pain and suffering. But it helps me believe that I can and will retain my strength and courage in the face of whatever adverse circumstances may come my way.

I believe that joy is a state of mind that can and must be cultivated and nurtured. Although at times it can come upon one spontaneously, there are attitudes and practices that are conducive to joy; it is important to live with an awareness of and openness to the possibility of joy. In concrete terms, this means: accepting who I am and what I have; letting go of guilt, regret, or nostalgia about the past as well as anxiety, dread, or longing about the future; coming to terms with my own mortality and the puzzle of my own existence; enhancing my physical health and well being through physical exercise and nourishing foods; protecting the environment in whatever small ways I can; appreciating my daily experiences, encounters, surroundings; doing,literally, "random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty".

Hello from Victoria

My sister, Gladys, shortly before her passing, gave me a cheque to buy myself a birthday gift. Her suggestion was: "Buy a tree and plant some roots." She was concerned about me because, in the previous several years, I had moved from job to job and place to place. I think she would have been happy that, a few months later, I landed a job in Prince George, where I stayed for 25 years. I retired in January 2004, and in December 2004 I moved to Lillooet, B.C. After 15 months in Lillooet, I knew that I wanted something more than this isolated community had to offer, but had no idea where to go from there. Moreover, I did not think I had the resources, emotional or financial, for yet another move. Then I went on a trip to Costa Rica. There were many aspects of life in Costa Rica that appealed to me, and I thought that might be a good place for me to live. So I sold most of my belongings, packed up, and headed off to Costa Rica.

In Costa Rica, I met some memorable people, spent some precious time with my nephew, Colin, experienced some unforgettable adventures, wandered the amazing beaches. But I did not stay for very long. In the end, after considerable thought and anguish, I came to accept that one needs to be tough-skinned (literally) to live in Costa Rica and that life there, for me, would require more than I was prepard to give at this point in my life. My two greatest challenges were the relentlessly itchy insect bites, and the high heat and humidity. I had some concerns about my personal safety, and I was terrified the first night I spent on my own in my jungle house with “all the things that go bump in the night”. It did not take me long to realize how much I appreciated my creature comforts and the quality of life I enjoyed in Canada, and so I made my way back home.

I realize now that my decison to move to Costa Rica was, typically for me, impulsive and dramatic. Yet I have no regrets. It is part of my process. It gave me the time and distance to re-evaluate many aspects of my life. It helped me loosen the emotional and financial ties that kept me in Lillooet. I came back to Canada with a new plan to move to Victoria. I had planned to live in Victoria where I spent 12 months 25 years ago. I never did find a job there, but I was with my sister during the last year of her life and, for that, I am forever thankful.

Through my Costa Rica experience, I have come to realize, more fully than ever before, just how many people love and care for me, each in their own nonjudgmental way. I am so grateful to all of these loved ones: my nephew Colin, my son Jeremy, my sister Elaine, my nieces Laverne and Colleen, my friends Ethel, Fran, Deb, Book, and Linda.

So here I am starting anew in Victoria. Stay tuned for more excerpts from the diary of a fool.