Then - and now........

(…) let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your heart (Kahlil Gibran)

My first love, at age 16, was secret, forbidden, unrequited and, in the end, utterly heartbreaking. It was such a desperate, hopeless, lonely, all-consuming experience. I thought I was in uncharted territory. I did not know, at the time, that many of my sisters had ventured down this road before me. My ignorance of this history made me believe that I was totally alone. I did not know who my heroines were. I had no guides, no role models, no one to learn from. Flashing back on that early experience, I find the pain still fresh and I find myself wanting to weep

Being in love, at age 66, is a totally different affair (literally and figuratively)! First of all, there is no “falling in love” this time around. I have walked into this relationship with the acquired wisdom of my last 50 years, eyes wide open, knowing and anticipating the promise, the challenges and the pitfalls, the joy and the pain, the give and the take, that are all part of it. I have learned long ago that I cannot look to someone else to make me feel whole and complete - I am and will continue to be 100% responsible for my own physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. The beginning of this new relationship actually came as a surprise to me. I have been feeling happy and at peace within myself, and have been enjoying the friendship of many women. At first I was uncertain whether I even wanted to open myself up to a “significant other” at age 66. In the end, I have decided to go with it, and now I find this new person in my life does bring me additional joy. And it is a cause for celebration, at least within my community of lesbian sisters, and hopefully among my heterosexual friends and family members as well.